yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
vagina is talking i cant
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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