I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
