Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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