the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
