I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
how does that bad decision feel?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
