she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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