just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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