I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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