So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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