it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
