so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
