she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
