haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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