You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
