Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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