she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
