Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
