I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
