You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
