There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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