yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
