Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
