Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You have to summon your inner elephant
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
