party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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