it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
