I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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