I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
