They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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