i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Randomize
