So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You need Xanax blowdarts
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
