No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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