ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
