I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
