i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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