so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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