My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
