She's JV to your varsity
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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