dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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