My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
