She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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