Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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