i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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