Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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