I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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