By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
