That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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