Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have aggressive nipples.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
