Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Randomize
