So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
