haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
