We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
