I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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